Ryokotsusei the Goldfish
by window-into-the-past
Summary: This story explains why Hyoga was sealed away and the real reason Ryokotsusei had a grudge against Inuyasha's father. Crackfic, told mostly from Hari's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Hyoga sat plotting in his secret lair at The Continent, laughing evilly at his newest plan. I, as his vassal, shouldn't criticize My Lord's plans, but seriously, this was the worst plan he'd ever come up with, including keeping his poison moths in the linen closet. After he did that, we had to walk around in our nightwear for weeks. This plan involved starting a goldfish swallowing fad on The Island. That's right; you read correctly, goldfish swallowing. Taking live goldfish and swallowing them whole, no teeth required. I walked to my friend Ruri's room, to tell her about our Lord's most recent trip to insanity land.

"Ruri," I said, "You'll never guess what brilliant plan Lord Hyoga's come up with this time."

"Not again, Hari" moaned Ruri.

"He's decided to start a goldfish swallowing fad on The Island." I replied.

"And how exactly is that going to defeat Inu no Taisho?" and asked Ruri, annoyed at Master's latest show of stupidity.

"Goldfish are reborn as dragons, and swallowing them will make them angry." I said, rolling my eyes "Then, they'll come back and eat you."

"In order to start a fad like that, wouldn't he have to swallow goldfish himself in the first place?" questioned Ruri.

"He's going to swallow dead goldfish" I replied.

"Ruri! Hari! It's time to watch Sesame Street." called Lord Hyoga from another room. "We're not here!" shouted Ruri and me in unison.

"Ok!" responded Lord Hyoga.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ruri, You make the slice and bake chocolate chip cookies. Hari, you are going to write the challenge for Inu no Taisho." said Lord Hyoga, pausing his Barney marathon. He handed me a fuzzy pink pen and a pad of Dora the Explorer paper. Ruri and I exchanged disgusted looks. I followed him into his office.

"Write this." He said, prancing about his office. "Dear Inu no Taisho, I challenge you to a goldfish swallowing contest on the next new moon. Meet me at the Tree of Ages in the Forrest of No Return. Sincerely, Lord Hyoga of the Continent"

I copied the following:

'This.

Dear Inu no Taisho,

I challenge you to a goldfish swallowing contest on the next new moon. Meet me at the Tree of Ages in the Forrest of No Return.

Sincerely,

Lord Hyoga of the Continent'

"The cookies are ready!" shouted Ruri. I licked the letter shut.

"We're coming!" shouted Lord Hyoga, grabbing my hand and dragging me from the room.

'He's wearing nail polish?!" I thought incredulously, noticing his bright pink nails. We walked into the room. The entire room was pink. Pink room with pink streamers, a pink table covered by a pink table cloth, pink chairs covered by pink cushions, chocolate chip cookies frosted with pink icing, and pink goblets filled with pink lemonade. Ruri stood in that cotton candy machine of a room, her lavender hair and otfit looking extremely out of place. I blew the party blower dejectedly. "Yes," I said in monotone, "This will be a fun party."


	3. Chapter 3

The day of the challenge arrived. Lord Hyoga insisted that Ruri and I, as his vassals, should accompany him. I stood next to Ruri, holding a bowl of live goldfish. Couldn't he have chosen something less expensive? He could have had puffer fish for a year for every meal, but instead, he had to have goldfish.

"Are you, like, ready?" Lord Hyoga asked, attempting to sound tough, but really sounding like a preppy girl.

"Yes." replied Inu no Taisho in a bored tone, and for good reason. Lord Hyoga had challenged him innumerable times, and had lost every time. The only reason he had probably shown up was his honor as a demon lord.

"Then let's begin!" sang out Lord Hyoga shrilly. They promptly started to wolf down goldfish, with Ruri and I attempting to keep count. Finally, there was one goldfish left in the bowl, and who ever swallowed it would win.

Inu no Taisho grabbed it and was about to swallow it, when it shouted "I'm Ryokotsusei the goldfish. You will pay for swallowing my kin!" in a voice it clearly thought was intimidating voice, which really was just annoying. Inu no Taisho snorted and swallowed the goldfish.

"YOU CHEATING-" began Lord Hyoga, when a fang ran him through.

"You're annoying." said Inu no Taisho to the sealed Hyoga.

"We agree." said Ruri, smiling happily. "Here's a good luck charm for getting rid of him." I said, handing him a necklace.

" You do realize I essentially killed your master." He stated, looking like we were nuts. "We know that." said Ruri cheerfully.

"The good luck charm will allow you to narrowly escape death once." I added. "Goodbye!" we shouted , leaving Japan.

" What odd vassals" commented Inu no Taisho.

10 years

"I'm Ryokotsusei the dragon" shouted a large purple dragon (The Barney had gotten to him) " I'm going to avenge my kin!".

"Not another nutcase" groaned Inu no Taisho, readying Tetsusaiga.

The End

NOTE: According to the Chinese myth book I read, goldfish are reborn as dragons. So take good care of your goldfish. (62,442 are after my blood right now!)


End file.
